Real Love

Love is unusual. You really truly don’t know how you feel until some one is gone. I had a vivid bad dream where i lost 2 loved ones.

In my dream, It was any ordinary day. We just came back from a road trip, i went to work, and next thing i know i’m receiving a call from my boyfriends mom. She says that something happened. I run out of work, hoping everything is okay. i get to the emergency clinic. and the doctor come out to say my boyfriend’s injuries from a car accident are too severe and he past away. I stood there, unable to determine whether it was real or i was relieved, relieved that he didn’t suffer much. I was in shock. I left, i didn’t see him, i couldn’t. Then i started wondering about all the photos we’ve taken with each other and all the memories we’ve had over the years. I would never be able to have more of those. I ended up at my sisters house. She was unknowing, talking about what business she is going into. I stood there and broke down. she held me. Next thing i know i receive another call that my child hood friend from eons ago died of a heart attack, he was like my little brother. I was devastated…

I remember tossing and turning in bed as my alarm went off to go to work. I felt wetness go down my face. I was crying and felt like my world collapsed. I picked up my phone and called my boyfriend to just hear his voice. I thought the unheard of had happened and that he gone. it’s 6:30am and i woke him up, he heard the sadness in my voice was instantly alert. He asked what was wrong, so i told him that i had a bad dream where he died, and I told him that i love him. He said i love you too, i’m okay. He heard me crying. Its okay. Then he joked, ” See this is why you should have stayed over last night.” I laughed and said that i need to go to work.

it’s weird that when someone leaves you whether in real life or even a dream. we learn where our feeling truly stand. I’ve always had uncertainty in my relationships not sure if its going to get better or if this is it. And what my dream showed me is that i am able to love someone so much and to tell them that they mean the whole world to me.